Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Shaping the rules (3)

Yesterday it was the 29th, our monthly review and evaluation day. I like the ritual feeling of this day. In the end no rules or wishes changed. Some changes in the sub-check-list.

Generally lots of thoughts flow through my mind that try to reflect how I see the dynamic and all the aspects within our relationship.

Last time I changed the contract around. I split it in three parts.
1) The general contract defining how the dynamic is set up. Who is submissive, who is the Dominant which responsibilities there are, including things like this monthly review, safewords and the sub-check list. How emergencies can break the contract, all essential basics, but no behavioral descriptions.
2) The rules
3) The wishes of the Dominant

Within the 1st part is is also described how these relate to each other:

The contract goes above the rules
The rules go above the will of the submissive and Master
The will of the Master goes above the will of the submissive
The will of the submissive goes above the wishes of the Master
The wishes of the master are suggestions for the submissives behavior

This enabled me to make much more consise and clear rules, and provided much more structure.
Of course there are no rules that go against my will :)  And the cascading enables us to implement the aspect of her 'little (bratty) girl' side. This little must follow the rules, but can decide to not follow the wishes.

Learning how to integrate our own dynamic into our lives as we go along is an exciting experience !

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